Our dear friend is that person you never think anything bad can happen to. She seems to float through life, beautiful and vibrant. dancing and moving, fiercely individual and raising two badass amazing kids. She eats raw, does yoga, teaches children.
Her daughter, herself a dancer too, has the fire of her momma in her. When she dances, she shows the world what it means to be a strong, beautiful beast of a girl. She inspires me and all those around her with her movement. But lately, I have watched that young woman struggle, a heart heavy with the uncertainties of life.
See her mother has been battling breast cancer for the last year. They found out her diagnosis the day her mother's father passed away from cancer.
Our dear friend Golden set about all the ways in which she would heal, immediately moving to holistic healing, she was against the harsh chemicals of chemo, the dangers of radiation.
But when you are a mother, you do whatever it takes to live. She knew she needed to live. To do that she has survived 6 months of chemo, destroying her body, moving her from a vibrant young woman to someone crone-like, shuffling about. Her double mastectomy showed living cells still within her breast tissue moving the doctors to suggest another round of chemo, and in addition radiation. Lastly her womb will be removed as a precautionary measure since her cancer has a 50% recurrence rate. After her double mastectomy, she got a severe life-threatening blood clot, confined to a bed in the hospital for four days was the lowest I have seen her. Death again was so close, the questions of why me, the doubt, the fear all creeped in. Her circle of friends held her in those moments, chest raw from the removal of her breasts, a cough that hurt every bit of her body when she moved, we held her and she cried, for four days straight she cried.
She has moved past that now, slowly reminding her body to dance, reminding her body that she is going to live. Her spirit has livened, she is once again determined in her path. Two more treatments, another surgery to go, she is gearing up for battle.
What we know she sees out of the corner of her eye is her basket of bills. There is so much care her friends have provided for her, we have come, made food, given rides to and from school and dance competitions, we have donated our own funds, our own selves...but the bills are daunting. She was laid off 6 months in to treatment, forcing her to keep her insurance through cobra before she was finally able to move to medi-cal. Her disability check brings in some money, but then there is rent, food, basic living expenses and well... all of the medical costs building up and even going to collections. She is living off the generosity of friends, and credit cards, still about $1,000 short each month of being able to get by. New procedures and medication costs are just insult to injury in a pile of unopened bills hiding paper cuts.
We want to help her more but don't think the little we do adds up to enough, so I'm reaching past our inner circle, into our larger sphere, we are reaching to our sisters, our other mother, our loved ones, who perhaps can also share some love with the ones we love.
~ Lea & Dori
In Golden Words:
Through moving my body, I am celebrating that I have an actual body to move, that alone is a miracle. I'm expanding the spaces for prana to rush in. I'm clearing out the heavy chemicals left in my cells from chemo. I'm remembering that this body is precious no matter it's size, shape, or ability. I'm finding the light within the dark. I'm a single mama living in San Diego, CA who is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer.
It is humbling for a single mom to reach out & ask for help. It's all too common for us to quietly carry the weight of the world with a loving smile on our face. We think "I've got this! I have to, there is no other option…" And yet here I am, in need of support and learning a new way.
In April 2017, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 3 aggressiveness. This is a rare and aggressive form of cancer. I also tested positive for the BRCA2 gene mutation. In terms of treatment, I have completed 6 rounds of chemotherapy & recently had a bilateral mastectomy. Since my pathology report showed living cancer cells remaining in my breast, my team of doctors now recommend a new host of treatments which include 5 weeks of radiation, 6 more months of chemo, and hormone suppressors for years to come. I will also have my ovaries removed as a preventative measure, given the BRCA2 mutation.
This has been a harsh reality to navigate on many levels. My full time employment has since fallen away, along with my health insurance. I now subside off of disability (which basically covers my rent) and donations from the community. I am literally being carried through the financial piece by generous friends & people I have never met before. My medical bills are stacked in a corner, and now entering collections. Up until now, all donations have gone towards my living expenses.
Words are sometimes hard as dance is my native language. It allows me to express what words cannot. Life has shown me that even if I cannot move my body, my spirit still dances. Confined in a hospital bed, with eyes closed, I’ve watched my soul move. I’ve envisioned my body up & dancing again. I’ve committed myself completely to seeing that vision through. This body has housed & birthed two amazing souls. My breasts spent four years nourishing growing babies. This body is strong, resilient. This body dances, stretches, celebrates. This body holds loved ones close. This body breathes steadily.
I thank Source for all donations, prayers, & healing actions. I pray that all who help me receive it back tenfold. Thank you from the entirety of my being.